BY Donna Skuse | 3 MINUTE READ

If you’ve been married once before, you may feel self-conscious when you start planning your second wedding celebration. But whatever the circumstances that have led up to your second wedding, you’ve got another shot at ‘til death do us part’, and that’s definitely something worth celebrating. 

There can be awkwardness around the subject of second marriages that leads couples to question what’s ‘appropriate’. We’re in favour of making your own rules and following your own style, so keep these tips in mind:

One for me, two for you

It may be a second marriage for your partner, but your first turn – or vice versa. Be sensitive to both situations in your planning, and find a compromise that works for you both. 

Go your own way

Any wedding, including a second wedding, should be a reflection of you as a couple. You don’t have to have a small and demure affair because you had a large celebration the first time around, so if you want a big and bold party, go for it! When planning a second wedding, you need to completely let go of the memories of how you celebrated the first. This is a fresh start, and a blank canvas. 

Tear up the rulebook

Second marriages often happen a little later in life, and your thoughts on the traditional and formal aspects of a wedding may have changed over the years. You have an opportunity to shape the day exactly as you’d like, whether that means writing your own vows, deciding the bride won’t be ‘given away’ or choosing different wording on your invitations. Embrace the chance to place your own stamp on every aspect of the day.

A family affair

You or your partner may have children from a first marriage, and want to include them in your big day. Be sure to have a conversation with your children before assigning them roles, and respect it’s their choice to be involved, or to stand on the sidelines if they prefer. 

Tear up the dress code

One of the most common questions second-time brides have is whether it’s appropriate to wear white. The answer is that it’s entirely up to the individual! Both the bride and groom should feel free to dress how they choose. Opt for outfits that make you feel good, and that fit the style of your wedding. There’s no right or wrong, only personal preference. 

Awkward guests

Many divorces are far from acrimonious and you may still be friends with your ex, especially if you have children together. Even so, there’s no obligation to invite them to your wedding, and most ex-partners would understand if they weren’t on the guest list. If you’d like them to attend, discuss it with your new partner and check they’re comfortable. 

Don’t ask and you will receive?

Assuming that many of the guests you’re inviting to your second wedding attended the first and gave gifts, it can feel cheeky to set up a wedding registry. You may also feel you have everything you need. But many guests will want to buy you something so it’s helpful for you to steer them in the right direction. You may want to set up a small gift list, but let guests know that their presence is all the present you need.